Pirate Profile: Purple Parfait

Today we honour NSO extraordinaire, Purple Parfait. It would be impossible to summarize Purple’s impact on – and contribution to – our league without detailing her every derby-related action from the time she joined us right up to today, the day she leaves Auckland (and us!) for a better life. So we won’t try. We’ll just say this: Purple, from all of us here at Pirate City Rollers, thank you. Best of luck for your move. We love you, and we’re going to miss your outstanding personality as much as we’ll miss your outstanding NSO magic. It’s not going to be the same without you.

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KEY INFO

Derby name: Purple Parfait

Muggle name: Marlow Edwards

Derby number: NSO

Role: Supreme Keeper of Pens, Astute Marker of Paperwork and Biceps, Brave Holder of Time and Attention, Champion of the “I’m A Little Teapot” time out dance, Survivalist of Derby Stink-Stank, All round fabulously talented NSO who likes NON SWEATY hugs. Please and thank you

Period involved in derby: Seven glorious years!!!… aiming for that decade trophy!  (there’s a trophy right??)

THE LOW-DOWN

What’s your roller derby backstory?

Incoherent joining story follows: Discovered Derby from watching a Burlesque performance. Couldn’t complete Freshmeat due to Nanny job. Han Solo got me to join the Dark Side. Paper work and oily salt EVERYWHERE!!!

How did you choose your derby name?

Donkey from Shrek kept saying Parfait. I had no idea what it was but it wouldn’t leave my head. I looooove the colour Purple. That seriously is it….. Donkey from Shrek…….

How do you spend your time outside of derby?

-cue manic laughing- What is this “Outside of Derby” you speak of? I eat, sleep and Derby every day. My NSO bag lives next to my bed, my work desk is covered in more stats books then work related items, and every weekend I travel to do more Derby. If I am very lucky, I will get hang time with my darling retired Derby Ref partner and we will play board games, Lego, watch movies, read comics or he cooks for me.

What keeps you coming back every week?

Being able to share my passion, knowledge and joy with others. Also right now, Garlic Peas.

Has anything embarrassing happened to you on the track OR Do you have a secret party trick?

OMG yes!! I remember a few years back ripping my pants but I didn’t know it. I was jamming and it was feeling a bit breezy… as the other jammer (Muss) came up behind me she was like “Ewww Belz.. I can see your butt”! I had ripped a hole and my butt was showing!

What do you do in real life?

I don’t understand the question. “Real Life”??? ….
Oh god, am I dead? Is Derby just a dream that I think I am living or a memory that is making me ponder if I am tired?
Who are you and what have you done to make this life not a “real” life?!?!?!
……….
(Insurance Processing for now. World Derby Domination Phase 2 is still being worked on.)

Any advice to people thinking of starting roller derby?

It is not as scary as you think. The pros will not attack you the second you put you skates on.
IF they do come close, it’s to give advice and help you put the gear on correctly.
The first lesson is always how to stand on skates. If your starting level on skates is negative bajillion, we can totally work on that and give all the supportive hugs you need.
The second lesson is how to fall so you don’t hurt yourself. No really, there is a correct way to fall.
Thirdly and Fourthly, welcome to one of the weirdest families you will ever meet. It’s like a super awesome amazing fun cult you can leave whenever you want…. But you always want to come back for more ☺

What’s your most memorable roller derby moment?

Super crazy hard to pick one so I picked three easy short ones.

  1. Painful memory – Pulled both hamstrings due to bending at the waist and not the knees while laying tracks.
  2. Cutest memory – First ever Juniors game I helped out with. OMG so cute!! -dies form cuteness overload-
  3. Parents memory (and secretly the most important one) – Mum and Dad made it to their first ever Derby game.

 

Has anything funny/embarrassing ever happened to you trackside/ on track? Tell us!

The one that got the most laughs and delayed the game for a minute or two is this:

I was sick. Sick where it hurts to swallow, breathing sets ya throat on fire and you can barely talk let alone make a noise as its painful.
So naturally, I was Jam Timer.
We were about to start Period 2. In the middle of me yelling “30 seconds”, my voice broke, cracked an almighty high and the last syllable ended up having 3 different pitches.
Cue everyone, including the crowd, laughing. Game ended on a good note and I had no voice afterwards. Worth it!

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